At a secret committee meeting of the City of Edinburgh Council, this news has been leaked to the Republic....
As we suspected the council`s overall city centre development strategy is to rid the Old Town of permanent residents.
At the meeting it was discussed that the measures already in place are working a treat.
"The HMO`s are going faster than hot cakes", said one councillor. They added "That puts paid to pesky permanent residents breeding any more Edinburgh Old Town residents and there are never voices of dissent from a flat full of spanish student/casual workers on council policy." "Family housing my a**e , who do they think cities are for??" sneered another councillor.
"Us business people thats who" piped up another
"Then when we rename it
"Murrayburgh" no one will blink an eyelid" laughed one who is a friend of local architects it is rumoured.
"That policy of destroying all trees, pockets of greenspace is astoundingly quick in driving out not only the wildlife but the most hardy of long term residents" laughed another councillor closely connected to entertainment companies across the city.
They added "The sanitisation of the Grassmarket has worked a treat, so public space will be as out of fashion as a
residents association in the not too distant future" sniggered another into their latte.
"The lax response to
Hen and Stag parties ruining residents lives is going well", reported another councillor, known for their pro economic development line on the planning committee. "
Passing every hotel application is progressing well too", laughed another councillor who has close hotel industry links. "Gosh it won`t be long" sneered a councillor known for their disdain of locals, "before residents are a thing of the past", then we can pay students to dress up as residents through the ages" suggested another who has close links with the tourist industry "
"Spending money on statues are getting their goats at the moment but with one going up soon of the ordinary woman in response to the many complaints about only having the common man statue outside the councils HQ will surely will shut them up" said the committee`s chair.
to be continued.......
Patrick Geddes
Not so long ago there lived a council who cared so much for fancy schemes, they spent all the city’s money upon them, and on junkets and on rebranding the city and the like. They gave no thought to their citizens or to the affairs of their city. They had a new idea for every hour of the day and spent most of their time in the pages of the local papers so that everyone might see their wonderful projects.
"We must have lots of developments made from these materials and architecture," thought the council. "When the people see the development, we shall know the clever people from the dunces. That developer must be brought to us at once."
"We will send our faithful old Leader Donald Anderson to see it," thought the council. "He is a very clever man, and no one is more worthy of his office than he."
So good old Donald went into the room where the developer and architect sat with the masterplan.
He stared and stared, and opened his eyes wide."Mercy on us!" he thought. "It’s monstrous” But he said nothing at all."Come a little closer," coaxed the architect. "Is not this a beautiful masterplan? And the buildings- are they not magnificent?" And he pointed to the concrete blocks. Poor old Donald put on his spectacles and bent over the plans, but he could see only a vision from hell!
"Mercy!" he said to himself. "Is it possible that I am unfit for my office? Certainly no one must know it. Am I a dunce? It will never do to say that I cannot see the beauty!""Well sir, what do you think of it?" asked the developer."Oh, it is charming - beautiful," said Donald, as he peered through his spectacles.
"The buildings are gorgeous and the layout is very fine. I shall tell the council that I am much pleased with your work." "We are very glad to hear you say so," said the developer and architects. And they went on talking of the masterplan. They had named it Caltongate, and described the peculiar layout. Donald listened carefully, for he wished to repeat to the Council all that was said.
Soon the developers began a consultation on the masterplan.
"Is this not magnificent masterplan?" asked the developers. And then they praised the gorgeous architecture and explained how it was a once in a generation opportunity for the city, which it certainly was not.
Then all of the council knew that they must view the marvellous masterplan.They went to view it along with Trevor, Donald and Alan, who thinking that the others would see how monstrous it was, all began to cry out at once, "Look, everyone, do you see the beautiful design? And the buildings- aren’t they gorgeous?”"See!" the developer said. "There are the beautiful buildings! Here is the economic argument! It’s an all or nothing deal. You may act as if this will not affect the world heritage status. That is the beauty of it."
"What is this?" thought the Councillors. They could only see a monstrous development not right for the world heritage site! “Are we not fit to be councillors? Am we dunces? If that were known, we should be deposed.""Yes, yes, it is very pretty," said the councillors aloud. "We could not be better pleased!" They smiled and nodded their heads, and stared at the horrific masterplan.
Their officials too, looked and looked, but saw only what the others saw.
So then the people in the city were allowed to gaze at the masterplan for they too wanted to see the magical Caltongate"How handsome the Councils Caltongate is!" they all cried. "What a perfect fit for the World Heritage Site! What marvellous architecture"
And the Council, hearing what they said, shivered, for they knew that their words were true. But it would never do to stop the process; and so they held themselves stiffer than ever.
As the day of the committee came nearer, the PR team worked with might and main.
The developers then pretended to listen again, to the local community, while they drew up the detailed plans. They sent out more promotion all over the city. They wined and dined whoever they had to and Alistair Darling gave money towards their underground heating although this will not serve the peoples housing.
"How well the city will do with this new development." says the Chamber of Commerce? "What a becoming style! What beautiful economic arguments! They are indeed fit for the world heritage site!" The Chamber gave the developer Manish Chande a key position, and the architect was told he could redesign the entire city.
In the following year after the masterplan was approved, Donald and Trevor were not re-elected. But alas Trevor carries on his love for Caltongate in the local press from time to time and Donald now works for the developers’ infamous PR firm PPS. Alan Henderson is still in office and has just recommended that the new planning committee approve the individual plans on the 6th of February.
But now she too is seeing the Council`s New Masterplan -Council leader Jenny Dawe said: "The Caltongate development will breathe new life into a neglected part of the Old Town.".Article
Press Coverage
Scotsman Article OpinionPieceScotsman
PPSGROUP OTHERS
Now this week despite even Unesco saying the scheme should be scrapped the council are still singing its praises
from The Scotsman 6th June 09 -
"A decision on the Caltongate scheme has been considered and agreed by the planning committee. We are of course aware of the comments made by Unesco in their draft report and we await the outcome of the World Heritage Committee later this month."
and today there is a laughable piece in the vain of "jobs can be used to justify any nonsense" in the Evening News that they wrote based on this piece of nonsense