Friday, 10 April 2009

Council`s Old Town Plan Revealed

At a secret committee meeting of the City of Edinburgh Council, this news has been leaked to the Republic....

As we suspected the council`s overall city centre development strategy is to rid the Old Town of permanent residents.

At the meeting it was discussed that the measures already in place are working a treat.

"The HMO`s are going faster than hot cakes", said one councillor. They added "That puts paid to pesky permanent residents breeding any more Edinburgh Old Town residents and there are never voices of dissent from a flat full of spanish student/casual workers on council policy." "Family housing my a**e , who do they think cities are for??" sneered another councillor.

"Us business people thats who" piped up another

"Then when we rename it "Murrayburgh" no one will blink an eyelid" laughed one who is a friend of local architects it is rumoured.

"That policy of destroying all trees, pockets of greenspace is astoundingly quick in driving out not only the wildlife but the most hardy of long term residents" laughed another councillor closely connected to entertainment companies across the city.

They added "The sanitisation of the Grassmarket has worked a treat, so public space will be as out of fashion as a residents association in the not too distant future" sniggered another into their latte.

"The lax response to Hen and Stag parties ruining residents lives is going well", reported another councillor, known for their pro economic development line on the planning committee. "Passing every hotel application is progressing well too", laughed another councillor who has close hotel industry links. "Gosh it won`t be long" sneered a councillor known for their disdain of locals, "before residents are a thing of the past", then we can pay students to dress up as residents through the ages" suggested another who has close links with the tourist industry "

"Spending money on statues are getting their goats at the moment but with one going up soon of the ordinary woman in response to the many complaints about only having the common man statue outside the councils HQ will surely will shut them up" said the committee`s chair.
to be continued.......